I've been a little lost today, not in a negative way... simply put I've had this "grand pointlessness" nipping at my heels. That underlying feeling of having no purpose in life. Its a wind that bares vague memories and it brings regret for the things we've lost in our lives. I've always felt that willpower and imagination are our only limitations in life, and as unrealistic as that may be - it can be a comforting thought. I've been spending a lot of time with new people; and it seems to be keeping me in a better state of mind, but I'm afraid because it all seems so transitory. It's as though I'm attempting to pick up an object which could put me at peace, only to find that its an intangible hologram put there simply to taunt me. Offering me a promise which may never be fulfilled.

When I'm here alone I cant help but linger on hard memories and relive my mistakes. Subtle tears come so easily now, and leave so quickly that I am simply left wondering why. It's an odd thing for me, I assure you. The relief experienced through shedding tears never did come easy to me, yet now the relief isn't enough.

So I'm here, I watch and I wait. Hoping.